Hey Poopchik! Baba Raisa Tells You How to be Ukrainian

Compared to erotic games in the village bath and shoplifting live turkeys in your bloomers, refugee life is beyond boring. So Ukrainian Baba (grandma) is brewing up Old Country mayhem. Between magical encounters with Nature spirits and hilarious dating advice—“Grab both his ears, or you’ll be sorry!”—she confesses to ending both Nazis and an abusive husband with common kitchen items.

In a rollicking monologue as dark and playful as the Slavic soul, Baba will lead you into the goddess-centred culture of Eastern Europe’s Indigenous people. Enjoy a raunchy Cossack song or two, a lesson in How to Complain Like a Ukrainian, and a chilling traditional curse for Putin, “May you be kicked by a duck!”

Baba entertainingly relives ancient shamanic practices that sparked the original werewolf legend. Oral history is supplemented by Raisa’s diligent academic research into the work of neolithic anthropologists, and the records of Herodotus and Hippocrates. The latter described Ukraine’s Amazon warriors as bowlegged and smelling of horse, to which Baba responds, “What is problem here?”

She mocks MAGA with a fierceness that can only come from the proud Ukrainian intellects that developed x rays, immunology, helicopters, and the first European democratic constitution. Not to mention “Fight Club” and “Heart of Darkness.” She has been avidly pursued by Chuck Palahniuk for the details of her cowgirl adventures.

Raisa spent decades collecting stories from survivors of Soviet and Holocaust terror, including her family. Baba is a composite of these invincible souls. Her interpretations are for the main part true, deepened by the complexity of her intersecting Ukrainian and Jewish roots. Her humorous cultural history book, “Baba’s Kitchen: Ukrainian Soul Food” has been a bestseller for ten years. It will be available at shows along with its follow up, plus hand beaded jewelry. The Ukrainian Canadian Congress specially selected this book as representative of the immigrant experience. It is also available at the Ukrainian Museum of Canada.

Deeply spiritual and satirical at once, Baba’s monologue and newest book relate her Halloween cemetery vigil in one of Canada’s secret gulags, a subarctic Slavic internment and slavery camp.

“I sat on the highway built by my own people, weeping. My little car rocked with each passing truck. The miserable graveyard beside the railroad tracks was inaccessible, its signage marred by a lurid yellow motel billboard. I finally tossed the sheaf of wheat I’d brought for the ancestors, into the adjoining ditch, knowing they’d understand. Maybe some kernels will sprout and form their own memorial.”

Baba would like to offer complimentary tickets to the creative partners swept up in her Victoria adventures: the Beaver Lake scuba diver whose air tank she mistook for a floating cooler while skinny dipping (she wasn’t trying to kill you; she just wanted a sandwich), and the Brad Pitt lookalike who drove her to the Elk Lake vet with an injured duck (sorry for the poop on your seatbelt). In the heat of the moment, she never learned your names.

And what is a Poopchik, anyway? Oi yoi yoi!

 

 

Reviews

“Winnipeg has the largest Ukrainian population of any Canadian city, and we regard Raisa’s work as a cultural treasure. She is well known and respected nationally. She clearly considers every detail to create an authentic performance. This is not easy when presenting cultural material to a critical audience: elderly immigrants, young people exploring their roots, and academics. We were proud to have this wildly creative artist perform at Oseredok, and

hope to have her return. And buy her book in our gift shop!”
~Yulia Zmerzla, Operations Manager: Oseredok Ukrainian Cultural and Educational Centre of Winnipeg

“Raisa has spent years honing her craft, which has paid off.”
~CBC Radio: Coast to Coast

“Your book has us all laughing hysterically and uncontrollably! Daikoyu=thank you!”~Capital Ukrainian Festival, Ottawa

“An onstage disciple of Aretha Franklin.” The Winnipeg Free Press

“She has a wonderful gift, bringing a fun and upbeat energy to each show. I would recommend Raisa without reservation. Her music and stories would truly be an asset to any festival or event.” ~Maria Alexakis, Artistic Director: The Shadbolt Centre

“I recommend Raisa as a truly quality performer with an abundance of talent, charm and charisma which comes across well to her audience. She delivers with true professionalism.”~Kate Petersen, Greater Victoria Film Commissioner (ret)

“If you haven’t met Baba Raisa, you should. Check her out. Every Ukrainian should!” ~Halifax Ukrainian Club, West Yorkshire, UK

“Baba gives an excellent explanation of Ukie Christmas customs!”
~Ukrainian American Coordinating Council

 

 

Credits